guest post by: Jenna Sherard
Here’s the thing I thought I’d
kicked the habit far away from me. I
thought I’d been on “the wagon” so to speak with my seat belt buckled securely. But twenty four hours ago I realized I didn’t
merely fall off the wagon. Actually, I dove off head first and on the way down
I picked up my habit embracing it like my long lost best friend. I hugged my old buddy “Worry” and invited her
to “just like come live life with me”.
And she called me out from deep trust in my God, and told me to try my
hand at controlling my own life. She
lured me to come waste my time with her and also, to jack up my new manicure
while I’m with her, you know, just thinking.
The best part is that actually
there are plenty of reasons to hang out with Worry. I can list them all for you, and after a
double latte I can sing them, chant them and leave a 3 minute message on your
voicemail frantically detailing each one. (Something tells me you aren’t going
to be giving me your number anytime soon.)
Chances are, however, you have your own list of reasons scrolling like a
newsfeed in your mind. Chances are Worry is your annoying friend
too.
The worst part is that when I’m
with Worry time just flies by, and I’m left feeling tired and lonely. Last night I woke up from a fitful sleep, and
quickly woke my husband up with my classic line, “Bobby I’m scared.” He answered with his classic groggy, “Jen,
all the doors are locked. I’m sooo tired.” So naturally my mind raced
to what might happen if all the doors weren’t locked, just say. Or what if my baby Celia’s window was the
only thing not locked and the scary imagined robber guy climbed on in. What then people? Suddenly, every speck of noise on the baby
monitor was all threat level 3am.
But the sun mercifully rose on our
house this morning revealing it was just as safe as ever. I, however, didn’t kick Worry out just yet,
but instead made her very strong coffee and joined her for a cup. Now amped up on caffeine we tackled the day
together, without much peace or progress.
We made everything a big deal from the laundry (as in didn’t do it, just
thought about it) to being a great mom
to sending work emails. And it wasn’t
until the last twenty minutes of Celia’s nap this afternoon that I finally sent
Worry packing (Note: I always picture her as this perfect looking version of
myself which I don’t have the time or energy to create. She also always has bigger boobs than I do in
real life. What’s up with that?). At
last, I knew she just had to go when I read this: “For in the day of trouble he
will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his
tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.” Psalm 27:5
Here’s the thing: God is God today on a pretty, regular day and
God is God in the day of trouble. He is
the same. Every day, every time, and he
is the most secure friend I could have.
He will keep me safe in his dwelling, and I’m under his shelter. I want to live there. I want my time to be spent there. In his
shelter there is rest, life and peace. Right now, I want to lock the doors so Worry
can’t hang out with me anymore. I’m
blocking her and defriending her and old school dissing her. And Heaven help her if she tries to get in my
house through my baby’s nursery window.
Jenna Sherard lives in North Carolina with her husband and little girl.
She seeks truth, fun and good coffee on a daily basis.
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