Love ruined my life (Part 4)

Guest post by Dasha

This is part two of Dasha’s story, read part one here.

I was searching for hope. God turned my head and I saw light in the darkness, it was the end of the tunnel, because darkness pulled me in so far I had to run away from it.

Running toward the light was the turning point in life. I still fight with depression, but I have God to fight for me.

I used to not smile, and always walk with my head down. I wasn’t able to make friends easily and God changed that, He gave me my family!

Let me back up to tell you how I got to this point of finding the Light in my darkness.

I heard the Gospel often for about 6 months and for me it was just words, some theory.

Anybody can tell the Gospel, but to live it is something that takes sacrifice and being willing to go out of the comfort zone.

For me, seeing the love Laura and Landon shared with each other was eye opening, the way they treated people was so different from what I've known all my life. That right there was love of Christ, it was impossible to miss it.

But, I guess I needed to see something else, now I know that it is called fellowship and the body of Christ as a whole.

Five months into Landon and Laura’s year in Russia I was invited to attend the Christian conference that was held in St Petersburg. Of course I wanted to go, solely for my selfish reasons wanting to see this beautiful city. Little did I know the conference was held 40 minutes outside the city, but I would never regret a minute spent there.

There I saw that Jesus is personal, I saw that Christians are not only elderly women at the end of their lives (which is much more typical in Russia, grandmothers that held on to their faith in spite of many years of communism).

I saw that Christians can be young, fun and full of life! I saw what Christian fellowship meant. I saw a big family of 250 people coming from completely different families, cities, backgrounds, and nationalities. It was a breathtaking, life changing, extraordinary experience.

While we were there we had a day of outreach where we partnered up to share the Gospel in the dorms. I had not accepted the Gospel as truth myself, but was obedient to share what I knew and saw a girl trust Christ with me that day!

After I came back from the conference, I asked Landon for a copy of Passion of the Christ to watch at home. As I watched it, right there there God touched my heart. Before that I was only perceiving Him with my mind and finally the truth pierced through my soul, travelled through my mind to the wellspring of life (proverbs 4:23).

I am a visual learner, so everything that has been told to me about Christ before came on to the screen and it was as if I lived through the whole experience.

It was a life switch for me, I finally knew who Jesus was, I got it!

I then opened the good ole 4 spiritual laws booklet, skipped to the last page where there was a sample prayer and I frantically read it.

I didn’t know back then it was SO important, that angels rejoice in heaven when yet another child is accepted in the kingdom of the Father.  

The Father I so desperately was longing for all my life.

I decided to keep this secret and tell Laura later to make it a going away surprise in the letter she was supposed to open on the plane. Well, I shared a little earlier.

Laura is my sister I have always wanted; this year marks our 9 year anniversary. What a journey it has been to live with God as Daddy and to have such family as Laura and Landon.

Laura is my example of how to be gentle as a dove and wise as a snake. God has given her a genuine gift to love people.

We have been through thick and thin together.

We've shared endless laughs, best walks, jokes, stories, tea (iced or hot), peeling and eating pomegranates, cooking, taking pictures, shopping hunts, Bible studies, praying together, road trips, playing games, playing with my nephew Liam, taking pictures, being goofy, doing make up, pajama parties.

We have also been together for some heartbreaking news, weeping, grief and sorrow, and sickness. We’ve spent hours studying Russian and coming up with the craziest ideas, painting the walls, and eating ice cream.

We have taken turns literally saving each other’s lives in scary situations (taxi rides, walking across busy streets, etc.). This post definitely won’t hold all of our memories, and I hope that we will have many more to come.

Landon has the official status of my father-brother who always cares, first of all for my spiritual growth. He has supported and encouraged me when I needed it most. He is the man representing what a godly husband, brother, and father should be. Believe me, I have watched him closely and know he is not perfect but God has made sure I would have a great example.

And Liam, my nephew, no words to describe what a blessing he is to me, what a picture of joy and love, of God's redemption. I miss my little hedgehog.

God sought me out and I am forever grateful I get to share His greatness with His children.

So, love did ruin my life as I knew it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Refurbish

Written by Kelly

Today I am back with another furniture refurbish tutorial.  I love getting old pieces of furniture from family members to make a part of our home.  To me there is something so special about the history of a piece and the way it can bring someone to mind just by its presence in your home.  This dresser was in the bedroom of two of my aunts when they were growing up.  I am sure there are lots of stories it could share.

I have moved the dresser around our home to suit various needs.  Currently, I have decided to use it as a buffet in our dining room.  We have a lot of wood furniture in this room so I wanted to paint the dresser a different color to give some pop amidst the darker tones.  

I followed Centsational Girl's "How to Paint Furniture" tutorial.  It walked me perfectly through the process step by step.  I began by sanding the dresser a little bit just to rough it up some so the primer would adhere to the wood.    

I used my favorite primer oil-based Zinsser Cover Stain.  It worked like a champ!

After the primer dried, I was ready to tackle painting. Kate's secret painting tool is a product called Floetrol.

Floetrol is a paint conditioner that you add to your paint.  It helps minimize brush strokes and roller marks.  Another must have tool is a high quality angled paint brush.

I used Benjamin Moore paint in Great Barrington Green.  This is a color Edie used in her kitchen aka my dream kitchen.  I am obsessed with Edie and her house so I love having one of her colors in my home.

As recommended, I painted two coats on the dresser waiting 4 hours between each coat and then waited 24 hours for it to dry completely.

The last step that Kate recommended was a water based protectant.  This helps your furniture hold up to everyday use.  A little goes a long way.

I also spruced up the hardware on the dresser.  The pulls were pretty rusty so I used Rust-oleum Metallic spray paint in Vintage Copper to give the pulls new life.

Here it is all refurbished.  I love it!

Regular Maintenance

written by Laura

So, I told mentioned in my last post that I was trying something new and out of my comfort zone. I'm ready to spill the beans. 

For the last 3 weeks I have not used shampoo or conditioner on my hair! 

Crazy right?! 

Yes, I thought so too! 

I got the idea from Pinterest. (I know, shocker!) It started out as something to try just to see if I could do it and if it would work with my hair. I have only used baking soda and vinegar on my hair for the last three weeks. 

I just pictured one of those homemade volcanoes sitting on my head, but I assure you it is nothing like that. 

Now, before you write me off as too granola, and stop reading right here, let me give you a little insight on me. 

I was once detained and questioned in a foreign airport about the amount of personal care/toiletry/makeup products in my luggage. I couldn't understand what they were so fired up about, but they just kept pointing at my makeup bag. They finally eeked out the English words, "to sell?" 

Yes, they thought my personal stash of cosmetics was inventory for some black market makeup ring. Hubby was dying laughing and made a comment something along the lines of, "how do you say 'high maintenance' in Russian?" I shot him what he calls a "death look" for that one. 

So, I am definitely not what you would call low maintenance, but I argue that I am just regular maintenance. 

Regardless, not the type of girl that you would expect to be rubbing baking soda on her head in lieu of traditional shampoo and conditioner.

But, I love it! It has a shampoo-like result for me and I like that I am not putting so many chemicals onto my hair and skin. And, baking soda is pretty close to free, so it's a win-win in my book.

The nitty-gritty (literally) is that I typically use just baking soda on my hair every 3 days, but about once a week will use it with vinegar, or just vinegar. I just wet my hair and make a little paste of baking soda and water in my hand (about the size of a half dollar) and slather it on really close to my scalp. Then just wait a minute or so and rinse it out. Easy peasy!

Ok, now for some disclaimers. 

I do have relatively "easy" hair. I have never needed lots of products or tons of tools to make my hair work. Or maybe I did need them, but I don't typically use them. I can't remember the last time I blow-dried my hair. Probably more than a year ago. I do use a straightener and/or a curling iron about twice a week. 

I have been "training" my hair for years to go longer in between washings. I can typically go 3-4 days without washing it. This makes life so much easier and cuts down on my getting ready time. 

The actual experience of washing your hair with baking soda is not quite like an Herbal Essences commercial. Imagine rubbing sandpaper on your head. Or trying to get wet sand out of your hair at the beach. It's more like that. Now, I bet you're really eager to run and try this, right? I have gotten used to this by now, but if you are really averse to textures it may take longer.

Try it and let me know if it works for you. I am especially interested to know if it works on color-treated hair.

It scares me a little to "out" this in public. 

For the record, I am still shaving under my arms. 

If I ever go that far over the edge, please sit me down and have an intervention. I'm serious.

LIfegiving

Written by Kelly


Do you ever feel like your tank is running on empty?  Sometimes you just need a break from your everyday schedule and get a change of scenery.  That is exactly what I did last week.  Caroline was on Spring Break so I packed us up and headed south to spend the week at my mom’s.  

I had been feeling run down and just not myself so some rest and relaxation was exactly what I needed.  Here’s what my week looked like...

I laid in bed and slowly welcomed the day while my mom fixed breakfast for little one each morning.

via Food Network

I watched Giada, Ree and Ina cook up some mouthwatering food.

I picnicked at the park and strolled through gardens of azaleas.

I sipped on blackberry tea and ate hot popovers with strawberry butter at my favorite tea house.

I walked on the beach and watched dolphins swim in the ocean.

I enjoyed delicious meals planned and prepared by Mom, including my favorite fried chicken.

It was a week that totally refueled my tank and helped me to return to my real life feeling refreshed and renewed.  This past week breathed new life into me.  

This month we will be discussing the theme of life.  I’d love to know what breathes life into you when your tank is running low.  Please share in the comments!

Baby Steps

written by Laura

I feel like March has flown by.

I feel like there is so much more we could delve into on the topic of budgeting.

I hope that this month has been a good reminder of what is truly of value in this world, but also challenged you to rethink your spending and budget to be free (mentally and financially) to enjoy the treasures that God has given you.

One thing that I want to stress in regard to money management is to just keep moving forward, make small good financial choices and they will add up. Don't get overwhelmed, people don't get into debt, or out of it, in a day.

I am not an expert by any means, I am very much a student and learning how to be a better money manager every day.

Confession: I went over my grocery budget this week! Now, a Trader Joe's did just open here and I had to stop in. I had little man with me and I got swept up in the experience and all the new (to me) products and when I got to the checkout I realized that I had spent more than I had planned. Like $20 more!! It happens. The biggest thing is not to let one mistake sink you. Eat your Trader Joe's knockoff Doritos (hypothetically) and chalk it up to a learning experience. And try not to do it every week. 

One of the biggest things that I have learned about budgeting is that it isn't always about pinching every penny, but more about your attitude and evaluating how you can save money in a way that works for you and your family. And consistently challenging yourself to think outside the box, whether it's with meal planning, trying cheaper alternatives to products your family uses regularly, or simply doing without.

Some of the thing we think are "necessities" are actually luxuries for most of the world. I am not promoting a poverty theology any more than I am promoting a prosperity gospel. Money is something that God has given us to steward, but it becomes an idol when we look to it as a mark of our personal holiness (because of all we do without) or God's favor (because of abundance of material things). Both of these extremes miss the mark.

It is important to examine how we spend and steward our money to see if there is any way that we can be more faithful in our finances. Most of this starts with just challenging the status quo. Upon examination, many of our beliefs (especially about money or possessions) have roots not in scripture, but in our American culture.

Like for us, as much as I would have loved to buy a house right when we got married, we moved 9 times in 9 years of marriage. It wouldn't have made sense for us to buy a house. But, I love decorating and making a place "my own," so it was hard to be limited in that.

God provided some great places for us to rent that were cute, and I got really fast at hanging pictures and curtains. But coincidentally, now that we have bought a house and lived here a month, I haven't hung a single picture.

I am not saying that buying a home is bad, as it can be a really great investment. I am just giving an example of something that we often feel is our "right" as Americans and something that we can easily buy into without a second thought. Specifically for us, if we had bought a house earlier in our marriage, we probably wouldn't have been able to adopt Liam when we did. Could God still have provided another way? Of course, but we were thankful that our money wasn't tied up when we needed it.

We didn't set out to rent for so long, but it did allow us to realize that home is truly wherever we were together. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for my new home, maybe even more so because I had to wait 10 years for it!

Every solution for cutting back or saving money won't work for every family, but find the ones that will. It has been really fun for me to find creative ways to save and challenge myself to do things that I may not have learned how to do otherwise. It's about learning what you can do and what you can't.  It also helps to keep in mind what you're saving for, whether its a tangible thing like a car or vacation, or an intangible thing like getting rid of debt.

Here are some things that have worked well for us, and some that haven't.

Wins: sharing one car (for 2 years), haircuts/color at home, doing our own pest control, minor home improvements, making coffee/lunches instead of always grabbing them out, cutting our home phone (does anyone still have one?), cutting out cable (we do Netflix/Amazon), getting books/DVDs from the library instead of buying them, running outside instead of paying for a gym, cooking/eating most dinners at home, getting Little Man's clothes at consignment sales or thrift stores.

Not so much: homemade laundry detergent, making my own sushi, knitting, refinishing furniture (Which I decided to do outside, in the deep south, in July. The first words of instructions were, "Put on long sleeves, pants, gloves, and a mask." Not my finest moment.)

I am not going to pretend to know your specific situation, but I would challenge you to think about one change that you could make in your spending habits this week. I would love to hear your ideas! I am trying something very new for me, and very out of my comfort zone. I hope to share about it next week. 

To get you motivated, dream about and share with someone what you are saving for. We would love for you to share with us too!

Reality Bites

written by Erin

It's Tuesday and I have $33.50 left of my $50.00 food budget. $33.50 to last me until Saturday. I don't know if I can do it. I had a fairly social weekend watching March Madness and I realized that much of the almost $18.00 I spent on Saturday and Sunday was on eating out and beer. I texted Laura on Sunday to ask her if I could have a few more dollars and she said, "No, I guess that means no more beer for you!" I was a little bitter at her response, but I got over it fairly quickly. It became apparent I was going to have to tighten my spending to make my goal. 

Yesterday, I was mindful of the fact I couldn't spend money on food because I have a lunch and a dinner scheduled for later in the week and I need to have cash for those commitments. I came home for lunch and dinner yesterday and I'm trying to stretch things farther as well as be more creative with what I've already got on hand. Canned tuna, sweet potatoes, black beans, and rice. Got any ideas on how to creatively use those ingredients to whip up something tasty?! I'm serious about suggestions. I need help.

It's amazing what choices I'm willing to make when I have a goal in front of me that seems attainable. I usually get overwhelmed with the thought of budgeting because it seems so beyond me. I also relate spreadsheets and receipts to budgeting and I kind of don't like to deal with either of those things. Ever. Laura challenged me to make a small, manageable change and I'm really encouraged because I think I can actually achieve the mark set before me. 

I used a coupon to grab a Starbucks Carmel Macchiato today. I relished a yummy treat and it was FREE. That's a win for a girl whose got $33.50 left in her food budget. I will make it work. I'm determined.

Spice Up Meal Planning

Written by Kelly

I may not be the budget guru but when it comes to cooking I have a few tricks up my sleeve.  If you ever struggle with expanding your meal plan beyond chicken and ground beef today I have the answer for you.  Don't worry.... it's budget-friendly too! 

Meet one of my favorite cuts of meat:  Boneless Pork Loin

It is extremely versatile and can easily be made to stretch to multiple meals.  Here's what I do when I buy one:

1.  Remove from package and trim excess fat from the pork loin.

2.  Cut the pork loin into thirds.

This will give you three roasts.

3.  Next I slice one of the leaner roasts, like the one on the left, into boneless chops.

4. Put each roast and sliced chops into a separate freezer bag and freeze.

It's so simple and takes 10 minutes!

Next the fun part!  The yummy dishes you can turn this into!  Here are our favorites! Click on the links for the recipes.

Roast Pork Loin with Peach Glaze

Slow-Cooked Carnitas

Pulled Pork Barbecue

Succulent Braised Pork

For the chops here are the recipes we love:

Pecan-Crusted Pork with Orange-Maple Glaze

Ingredients:

Boneless Pork Loin Chops

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp ground black pepper

4 Tbsp pure maple syrup

1 cup pecan pieces, finely chopped

2 Tbsp canola oil

2 oranges (1 juiced; 1 cut in wedges)

1/4 tsp ground cumin

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

Directions:

Season chops with salt & pepper.  Place 3 tablespoons syrup in dish; place pecans in second dish.  In 12-inch skillet heat oil over medium heat.  Coat pork in syrup, then press in pecans.  Place pork in skillet in single layer; top with remaining pecans and syrup from dish.  Cook 3 to 4 minutes each side, just until cooked through.  Remove from skillet.  Stir in orange juice, remaining 1 tablespoon syrup, cumin and cayenne into skillet.  Cook, uncovered, 1 to 2 minutes until slightly thickened.  Pour over pork.  Serve with orange wedges.

Pork Chops with Gravy

Ingredients:

Boneless Pork Loin Chops

3 Tbsp Olive Oil

Onion, sliced

2 cups chicken broth

1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup

1 Chicken Bouillon Cube

1 tsp dried parsley

1 tsp dried basil

1 tsp dried thyme

Directions:

Salt & pepper pork chops.  In medium hot Dutch Oven (make sure your Dutch Oven is oven safe!) add 3 tablespoons olive oil.  Sear the chops about 3 minutes on each side. Remove chops to a plate and add sliced onion to the pot and saute until tender and translucent. To the onions, add chicken broth, Cream of Mushroom soup, parsley, basil and thyme.  Simmer a few minutes then add chops back to the Dutch Oven.  Cover and put in 350 oven for about 30 minutes or until pork chops are tender.  You cannot overcook them! They just get more & more tender!

Hope this helps you try some new things in the kitchen!

Free ebook: Dave Ramsey's Guide to Budgeting

Wanted to share this free book on budgeting. Enjoy!

Download a free copy of Dave Ramsey's Guide to Budgeting. 

Lunches and Latte's

written by Erin

I enjoy nice things, but really, who doesn't? I'm always up for trying the trendy new restaurant, grabbing drinks with friends, or heading to Dean and DeLuca to grab an Americano before class. I really love espresso thanks to my Seattle friends who introduced me to it years ago. I might sound like a snob, but espresso really is better than coffee. 

I'm on-the-go much of the day between work and school obligations. Oftentimes, it's easier to grab lunch out with a friend and her kids at Chick-Fil-A than it is to figure out how to store my lunch since I'm in and of out different spots most days. It works for everyone, right? A play place and yummy chicken for all. What's not to love! Although, I am fairly mindful of what I spend on coffee and eating out, I think I could be a little more diligent and see just how much I could save by cutting corners in this area of my budget. 

Sneaking in on the last week of "treasure" month, Laura challenged me to see if I could keep my food and household items to a $50.00 dollar minimum. I'll keep you posted. Here we go!

Happy Birthday

written by Laura

Here is a letter I wrote to my son last night on the eve of his 5th birthday.

Dear Little Man,

I just put you to bed for the last time as a four year old. I was trying to have this sweet sentimental moment and rock you and sing to you before bed, but you weren't having it. You're legs were hanging way off my lap and you just had the wiggles.

On your birthdays, I can't help but reflect on how far you've come and where God has rescued you from. I think of these things all the time, but it especially hits home for me near "big" days like your birthday or "gotcha" day.

I cannot imagine my life without you in it, little buddy. You bring me so much joy and life. 

I do believe that God is sovereign, and He made us a family. I am just so thankful that He did, and that he called us to step out in faith to begin the adoption process long before we ever saw your little precious face from that first picture. 

I think about every little decision and circumstance that God orchestrated to bring us together. Each of us went through some very painful things for God to put us into the place where he could bring us together. Our family is truly a living picture of Him bringing beauty from ashes. Gladness from mourning. Peace from despair.

You make me laugh everyday. You have a great sense of humor. You say the funniest things and ask the best questions (about everything!).  Like recently, during a super sophisticated talk (during sickness) about boogers I explained that they "catch" germs in the air so that they don't get into our bodies. After my very scientific explanation, you looked a little afraid and asked, "do boogers have hands?!" Because I had said that they "catch" germs and your little bionic ears are always listening.

You're the only kid I know that loves to watch YouTube videos about scientific things like how the chambers of the heart work. You like to watch them so much that we actually use them as motivation for you to do things that we have asked you to do.

You love people. Like REALLY love them. You are very affectionate with those you are close with and are always looking out for someone who is hurting or left out. Just this week at gymnastics, there was a new boy who was afraid to join in. I watched you leave the group and walk over to where he was sitting and reach your hand out to him, inviting him to come and play.

You hate any sort of doctor visit (can't say I blame you, you have had so many) but I love to see how you have really faced your fears and now you are so brave. I can tell you are still nervous (because you chatter at an above average speed and ask the same questions over and over) but when whatever procedure is through, you are quick to forgive and happy as can be immediately (coincidentally as we are walking to get your stickers).

You love food. You will try just about anything, but your flavor of the year is peanut butter and honey sandwiches, I think you would eat them for every meal if I would let you. The other day I had made a smoothie with lots of kale that I was kind of trying to choke down. I asked if you wanted a sip (sneaky Mama) and you acted like it was a milkshake (even though it was bright green) and finished it off.

Your favorite show is by far Mr. Roger's Neighborhood (thanks Amazon instant streaming). We have watched almost every episode from every season, due to about a month (cumulative) of sickness, since January. It was always one of my favorites too, and I still love to watch the part where they show a video of how crayons, graham crackers, or guitars are made.

Your favorite toy is still a flashlight. The other night after you were in bed it was storming pretty badly and the house was shaking with thunder and wind, but I knew that if the power went out that there would be no problems because I could spot 3 of your flashlights from my perch on the couch. Even tonight, Dotty gave you a new flashlight for your birthday and you were enamored all over again.

You have a gift and love for music. Your music teacher at school said that you are the most musically gifted student that she has ever taught. We are planning on getting you into some music classes this fall.  You love to sing and have a great voice. Your favorite song to sing is "10, 000 reasons" by Matt Redman. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, ooooooooo my soul..." And Jesus loves me is a perennial favorite.

You have the gift of encouraging people and are often speaking words of encouragement to me or anyone around you. You make people feel valued. You chat up the cashier at Target and make her smile or tell someone "thank you" for doing a menial task that they probably don't get a lot of thanks for.

You are so imaginative in the ways you play with your toys. You can make anything into a musical instrument. And for awhile earlier this year, you made everything into a vacuum. I love to just watch you play. I am always amazed at the scenarios that you come up with.

This year for your birthday you are getting (good thing you don't read this blog) : a guitar, a "real" junior golf club (a putter- figured that was safest), a wooden marble run, and a swing for the backyard.

We aren't having a party this year. It was too much for me to organize with us just moving, but we have planned a day just for you. (We did this same thing last year, as we had also just moved haha, and you loved it.) We are planning to spend the whole day just you, me and Daddy. We are going to let you pick where you would like to eat and what you would like to do. One thing that we have already planned is a trip to see Mr. Chad and get a tour of the fire station. And, I am sure that at least one meal will be eaten at Chick-fil-a if you have anything to say about it.

It has been so fun to see how much you've grown this year. I am so proud to be your Mama.

I will always carry some sadness that I did not get to have your first year and a half with you. I prayed for you, and I moved forward in faith to bring you home, but I didn't get to hold you. It is a hurt that I will probably always feel. To me it is just another reminder that the world that we live in is sinful and broken and not "as it should be". But, the joy of having you as my son now is as the light of the sun at dawn overpowering the darkness of those "lost" months.

I know that God has big things in store for you Little Man. He literally rescued you. Not because you "deserved it" more than any of those 100 children in your baby home, but because of His lavish grace in your life and our lives. You were without hope, and he gave you a hope and a future. He redeemed your life from the pit (I saw that place with my eyes, it was a pit)  and crowned you with loving kindness. 

I pray that you will know God through Christ. That you will comprehend how wide, and long, and high, and deep is the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge. I pray that it you would love others as an overflow, that you would seek to help others find redemption and hope.

God is using you in my life everyday to show me my sin (as you are like a little mirror of everything that I say and do- not always a good thing), but also to show me His great love for me as a daughter. You are a living, breathing picture of the gospel at my kitchen table.  

You have such a beautiful story that I pray would display God's glory for the world to see.

I am so thankful you're mine. Happy Happy 5th Birthday! 

All my love,
Mama

Love ruined my life (Part 3)

written by Laura

I had only planned to have two parts to this story initially, but then I thought it would be interesting to hear it from Dasha's perspective so I asked her to write it out. I had to split hers into two posts as well, so the conclusion will be next week.

I actually did not even know all of the details in this story until I received it from Dasha today.  

Her friendship is truly a treasure to me. 

This is truly a story that only God could write. 

Here is the story in her words...

So while you know Laura and her part of the story I would like to share mine. 

I would only want to do this to know how GRACIOUS and MERCIFUL THE LORD is.

I will start with the moment I met Laura. It was actually inside "Chicken" (SFC) fast food restaurant. It was the first day I decided to go after our Speak Out English classes. See, other days I had to go back home to do my homework, I was a 1st year student at the University and it took me 5 hours on average to complete the assignments the teachers gave me. 

I did not have spare money, but that day I "risked my life" and not only took money from mom to pay for food (I didn't have my own) but decided to ditch my homework as well.

So, I came to Chicken with my American teachers and some friends. We were sitting with them at the table and then there was this special something that happened and I believe it was totally from the Lord.

When I turned my head and saw light shining from a person ( if you've seen action movies,and boy they are fast and dynamic but then they show some important moments in slow motion- so that's how it was for me).  And, it was as if I was made to stand up and come up to Laura and introduce myself (side note: never ever EVER in my life had I done that before! I was so shy and uncertain to the point that when I was walking in the street I always looked down because I thought people were looking at me and judging). But some unknown force made me come up and introduce myself.

So next day Laura and I met up again with a couple of my friends.We chatted in the hotel room followed by a country dance party at night where we learned to line dance. 

I was crazy but I came to say goodbye the following morning, right before the taxi came to pick the team up from the hotel. 

I have a picture of me and Laura that Landon took. She left me a note saying something like" It was so good to meet you. See you soon. John 3:16"

Now, trying to be a good student I memorized all the standard questions and one the first ones I asked Laura were about her name and last name, and I knew her last name wasn't John.

Now I was really confused, John 3:16, John and some numbers.... I was wondering you know, as you would exclaim now: how in the world did you not know the most quoted verse from the Bible?!? 

And I would respond, you are not from Russia. People here have been told for over 70 years that there's NO God at all. They were forced to believe in the power of  "great leaders" of Lenin and Stalin and the power of labor ( meaning working diligently). 

Though it seems like a good motive for people there was no hope, the believers in God were persecuted and sent to GULAG camps destined to die with no hope of escape. In fact the most commonly quoted phrase was " To study.To study.To study" So you could imagine why I did not understand what the John 3:16 meant.

We emailed back and forth all summer and Laura told me she was coming to Perm for a year! 

I was so excited, but at that point, my English was no more than basic level. God focused my attention on His daughter, and I thought I was just really longing for attention and love and friendship, true friendship.

You see all my life I have been searching for parents. Don't get me wrong, both of them are alive, but what I mean was that I was so longing to have someone in my life who would LOVE unconditionally, care, listen, look at me, actually verbalize those 3 most wanted words "I LOVE YOU" like somebody MEANS it. Who would rejoice with me, and even if I fail, help me up and encourage me. Someone to believe in me, invest in me, spend quality time, assure me that no matter the looks I am precious and was not born to live in depression for my short 17 years of life.

So, here is the graphic and too personal part of my life that will make me vulnerable in front of you (people I have never met in my life). 

And though exposing my heart would mean that I can get hurt for the one millionth time, I would still share because this is not my story. It is the story that my precious, loving, caring Jesus is still writing. 

Not one person on Earth and even the whole Universe knew how much I needed to be rescued from the darkness so quickly filling my life and my soul except Jesus.

My father screwed up in his life way too much, my mom was his 3rd legal wife and I was his 3rd child and then there was my younger brother. So when I was 5 years old my mom divorced my dad (I found that out later). 

When I think about my childhood, I remember "teaching" my little brother crawling, playing in the field of dandelions, my uncle giving us toys ( never remember my dad giving us something like this). 

But I also remember my dad yelling at my mom, him taking the ax to scare mom and cutting through some fabric of my couch. I remember my dad getting mad at me for doing something "wrong" or just disobeying but I was trying to run away and locked myself in the bathroom. Then, my Dad tore the lock off the door, so you can imagine, all these memories are engraved in my head forever.

My mom was trying to make ends meet after the divorce. My dad was angry at my mom for "separating" our family though he was cheating on my mom. He decided to find the lowest paying job so the government would subtract less money out of his salary, so it meant less money being paid to my mom for raising "her" children.

As a result she was never home, I was left alone to myself a lot. I was striving to become friends with my mom, but she was just exhausted. As for me, I didn't want to study and often came home with bad
grades and my mom would spank me (with a HUGE WIDE leather belt). Oh that hurt! 

What hurt me most of all was not having the attention and love of my mom. She was so desperately trying to provide for us, but could afford to buy milk only once a week and fruit only for New Years.

It wasn't the best time for the country I was born in, the Soviet Union fell and so did our economy.

But then how sweet was the Redemption, breaking every chain I was bonded in, once I knew that SOMEONE greater than all people who have lived on the face of Earth combined, LOVED me long before I was born:

Psalm 139

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; 
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; 
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.

You hem me in behind and before, 
and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, 
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? 
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you; 
the night will shine like the day, 
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; 
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!

They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Need Your Help

Written by Kelly

Ok so I'm learning that a lot of my friends know how to rock a grocery budget way better than I do.  Lately in conversation I've been sharing about this budget challenge hoping for someone to commiserate with me only to learn that so many others follow this budget routine already or have an even tighter budget.  I am not too proud to admit when I need help/advice.  

SO I am asking that all of you who read this blog to PLEASE share with me your favorite budget-friendly meals.  I'm talking recipes and ideas of what you eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  Also, if you have any helpful tips of how you shop to maximize your budget please dish those as well.  I am all ears people!  I would love to be able to implement some of your tips & tricks these next two weeks as I finish out this challenge!

Seriously, don't be shy folks! Help a girl out!  I promise my family and my sanity will thank you! :)

Budget Challenge Week 2

Written by Kelly

I am back with another check in from my budget challenge.  For those of you who are just joining us, Laura is sharing tips this month on how to stretch your budget and I am the guinea pig who agreed to only spend $100 a week for all food and household items for my family of 3.  

So I have to admit that week 1 was pretty tough!  I planned all of our meals and made my list according to the sales last week and yet my grocery haul did not last as long as I had expected.  I guess that happens when your husband consumes an entire bag of chips in one night!  By the end of the week David was begging me to go to Chick-Fil-A but we only had $7 left in our budget to last us for two lunches and a dinner.  Not gonna happen!  We ended up having peanut butter & jelly sandwiches almost every day for lunch.  

Here's a sampling of what we ate for dinner during the week and a treat that I made to keep the family happy.

When you are on a tight budget coupons for freebies become like gold treasure in your house!  

I offered to share this Diet Coke with David as a peace offering.  When he went to get it from the gas station, he was craving junk food so badly that he scrounged up enough change in the car to buy a pack of M&Ms.  He was a desperate man!

After all of the penny pinching and the saying no to my begging family I still somehow accidentally overspent by $3.89!  I was a bit frustrated!

So when preparing for Week #2 I psyched myself back up to conquer this budget beast.  This time I remembered to go to the bank and retrieve my cash before heading to the grocery store! YAY!

I have to admit Laura was right that parting with cash is a lot harder than swiping a card.  I was holding on pretty tightly to these bills.

I had once again studied the grocery ads and planned meals according to what was in our fridge, freezer and pantry.  This week I spent $16 less at the grocery store! When I returned home after this grocery haul the weeping and gnashing of teeth began the moment I walked in the door.  Apparently all the cheaper items that are on sale don't always meet the high standards of David's tastebuds.  The chips and queso I purchased for him got an immediate snub.  

So all I can say is please pray for me this week!  Pray that my family will not plan a revolt and that somehow we will live through this budget challenge with our family intact at the end of March.  :)